J-Law’s boyfriend has put a ring on it
Yep, that’s right – Hollywood actress, political activist and general all-round funny human being Jennifer Lawrence has announced that she’s engaged to boyfriend Cooke Maroney, after six months of dating. The 28 year old Red Sparrow star confirmed her engagement via her representative, but is keeping mum for now on whether she’s started planning any aspects of the big day.
That being said, we’ve decided to take it upon ourselves to imagine exactly what Jennifer’s wedding day will look like, with a very serious, very factual insight into our hopes and aspirations for the day where she will wave goodbye to the single life. We wish her and her beau a lifetime of happiness together, and we can’t wait to receive our invite in the post. We can dream, right?
She’ll trip walking down the aisle
Taking a tumble on what is supposed to be the happiest day of your life is something we wouldn’t wish on our worst enemy, but then again, clumsiness is kind of J-Law’s brand. In 2013, she famously tripped on a set of steps while heading onstage to accept an Oscar for her barnstorming performance in Silver Linings Playbook. An incident like that would be end-of-your-social-life embarrassing for normal folk, but Jen just picked herself up, brushed herself off and carried on – she’d also just become the second youngest Best Actress winner ever, so we’re sure her ego wasn’t too bruised. At her wedding, we expect she might struggle to navigate the logistical perils of a wedding dress and veil, but hey – at least we might get another legendary GIF out of it.
There will be pizza
It’s often not easy to relate to mega-rich, mega-beautiful Hollywood stars, but if there’s one thing about Jennifer Lawrence that we relate to on a spiritual level, it’s her love of good food. Back when Vine was a thing (RIP), J-Law made herself a meme for the ages while doing a press junket for The Hunger Games trilogy. Along with her co-stars Josh Hutcherson, Jena Malone and Sam Claflin, Lawrence talked about a frustrating pizza-related experience, resulting in the now famous ‘Where’s the pizza?!’ meme. If we don’t see Instagram snaps of Jennifer and friends shoving Dominos slices into their mouths on the big day, we’ll be rather disappointed.
Kris Jenner will be the maid of honour
The Kardashian-Jenner-Disick-Wests-Webster-Thompsons (phew!) are a pretty controversial bunch, but Jennifer Lawrence has never made a secret of her love for reality television’s first family. Back in 2017, she interviewed Kim Kardashian on Jimmy Kimmel Live and asked all of the questions people really want to know, like whether the Wests have ever farted in front of one another. However, it’s the family matriarch Kris that Jennifer has an extra special fondness for – she once dined at Kris’ Calabasas mansion and Kris even wished her a happy birthday on Instagram, calling her “a piece of sh*t” (you know, normal friend stuff.) We have every faith that Kris would make for an excellent maid of honour…just think of the bachelorette party she’d throw!
Her dress will catch on fire (but on purpose)
The Hunger Games trilogy is responsible for launching Jennifer Lawrence into ultra-stardom (even if there was no need for the final book to be split into two films). Despite the series involving dystopian warfare and questionable camouflage, (remember when Peeta disguised himself as a rock?) the most unrealistic part of the entire franchise is obviously when Katniss’ dress literally sets on fire, showing the world that she is not be messed with, and that she has little to no concern for her personal safety. While setting alight your wedding dress is not something we’d normally advise, we have a feeling that J-Law will somehow make it look totally badass – let’s just hope her entourage have some fire extinguishers to hand.
Her closest friends will be pitted against each other Hunger Games-style
Being a bridesmaid is kind of weird – one of your (hopefully) dearest friends chooses you to stand by their side on a truly momentous day, but only if you wear a probably hideous dress and throw them a party beforehand involving strippers and willy straws. Being the non-traditionalist that she is, Jennifer Lawrence has previously stated that she has no plans to have a bridal party. In 2016, she told Vanity Fair that being a bridesmaid is “horrendous” and that she doesn’t want them at her own nuptials – “how can I rank my friends?” she asked. Well Jen, there’s always the option to pit them against each other in a deadly competition which involves a Cornucopia and a bow and arrow? At least she’d save some money on the after-dinner entertainment.
Whatever Jennifer’s big day looks like, we’re sure it will be one for the books. If you’re busy planning your own wedding, you can make the tiresome search for the perfect venue a little easier, with our Wedding Venues page, which features curated ‘Best Lists’ to help you find the place that’s perfect for your big day.
All GIFs via giphy.com