It’s always depressing to not enjoy a meal. However, when you go to a double Michelin restaurant in Mayfair, you hardly expect such an occurrence. It’s partly our fault expecting a french restaurant to be able to cater for vegans even if we did give The Square over 3 months' notice...
Firstly we arrive at our table and are given menus. Although our menu was not correct as every dish had meat in it and the champagne sourced was not vegan. We were offered a soft drink as an alternative if wanted and settled for sparkling water. It took about 15 awkward minutes for the staff to print our menus, and when they arrived they also included the meat trolley in all its glory sitting proudly atop. Why would a vegan menu have meat canapés on it? We were concerned at this point that maybe other items would not be suitable for us on the menu.
The canapés were served soon after, and we were given 1 small pot of puréed carrots from the same meat trolley... appetizingly! whilst our friends tucked into an array of canapés. This was a clear sign that our friends were to enjoy the evening and would be catered for as they should. We were an afterthought. We hoped that the service and food would improve as the evening went on...alas we were to be disappointed.
The first course was a raw ‘carpaccio’ of mushrooms, the staff went around our table explaining what the dishes were and, well, it’s hard to tart up sliced mushrooms and boiled veg.
The other vegan dish for the first course was stock and veg! Pretty little carrots in a sea of vegetable consommé, What a treat! I could do better with a pack of miso and half an onion. When staff came around to explain they said usually it would have oysters in, this given as an admission of why it wasn’t very good. Thanks.
Given that the vegans were a full course short at this point, a spoonful of bland Risotto made with long grain rice was woefully under flavored with yet more mushrooms...
And another plate of some fried and some sliced raw mushrooms. Delicious mushrooms, but they had obviously sliced too many for the ‘carpaccio’ earlier.
Then things went comprehensively stratospheric when our puddings arrived and were 2 minutes later whisked off of the table as they contained cream! Then we waited 30 mins for them to come out again. At which time everyone else was finished.
No wonder the chef did not visit our table. What a diabolical clusterfuck of errors!
Needless to say we will not be returning.