The Brockley Mess

4 reviews

325 Brockley Road , London, SE4 2QZ

Brockley Mess
Brockley Mess
Brockley Mess
Brockley Mess

SquareMeal Review of The Brockley Mess

An art gallery, bar & café (with inexpensive breakfasts & lunches, plus a small garden out back), the Brockley Mess is what every suburban high street needs. It’s a funky, colourful little spot, with floor-to-ceiling archive shots of nearby Lewisham College, old school furniture & polished concrete flooring. At breakfast, there’s a full English or burritos for the ravenous, & light, fluffy French toast with proper maple syrup & fruit for a snack. Lunchtime sandwiches, salads & pies are supplemented by hot daily specials. Cakes are made on the premises, including the Brockley Mess: a delightful mix of dark chocolate brownie, vanilla ice cream & raspberry coulis. Tea is loose leaf, & there’s a short wine list & local beers to boot. Exhibitions at the gallery change every six weeks.

The Brockley Mess Location

325 Brockley Road , London SE4 2QZ

Opening times

Mon-Sat 9am-5.30pm Sun 10am-5pm

The Brockley Mess's Reviews


Food & Drink: 4.0


Service: 3.8


Atmosphere: 2.5


Value: 4.0


Food + drink: 4

Service: 3

Atmosphere: 3

Value: 4

16 June 2013

I was really sorry to read below about the poor service offered to mothers with children at The Brockley Mess, their experiences sound dreadful. I see this place from a totally different perspective, however, perhaps because I'm not a mum with children. I really rate the BM for its delicious, wholesome, well priced and well portioned breakfasts. I usually have scrambled eggs which are light, fluffy, and voluminous; granary toast which is always deliciously buttered; and mushrooms which are full of flavour and kind of yummily caramelised. My boyfriend usually gets the Full English which looks delicious, and the Fruit Salad with honey-drizzled yogurt and granola is a light, sweet, and refreshing accompaniment to a savoury brekkie. Each table has a bottle of topped-up ketchup and brown sauce, excellent salt and pepper mills. The place is well decorated, comfortable, and well ventilated and staff are reasonably friendly. The menu is varied, the food always fresh. In all, it's a great place to go, especially when nursing a hangover. I would heartily recommend The Brockley Mess.

Food + drink: 3

Service: 3

Atmosphere: 0

Value: 2

27 September 2012

I had been a regular for about two years, and although I had heard on the Brockley grapevine how intolerant they were to children and I was still taken by complete surprise by how incredibly distasteful their attitude is. Firstly, I would like to say that the food is good, and the service fair which is why I had kept going back. I have always gone with my son, more recently I have sat in the back yard so he could run about . However, my friend was watching my two year old while I popped into use their toilet. I heard a man bellowing, and my heart sank. I rushed out of the toilet and my son had touched one of the art works. I was mortified and embarrassed. But this was soon pushed aside as they were just so despicable about it. Firstly a grown man should not be shouting at a two year old, particularly as my son was with an adult. When I asked what had happened he then turned on me. My friend asked very politely whether this was a child friendly cafe at which point the lady working there completely went for it. She stood less a foot from my face and started accusing me of not looking after my son, I told her he was with my friend as I needed the toilet but the onslaught just got loader and more aggressive with her eventually saying perhaps I shouldn't go back. Obviously I won't. I was shaken, embarrassed and really upset for my son who at two should not have to witness this. If they had spoken to me about it, rather than behave as they had, I would have offered to pay to get the work cleaned. As it is I feel that they should not have high chairs and a box of toddlers toys as this makes you believe they are child friendly. It could have as easily been someone with a cup of tea that could damage art work. Especially as so much of it is hung at near ground level. Be warned anybody who had a child!

Food + drink: 0

Service: 0

Atmosphere: 0

Value: 0

24 January 2012

I've been visiting the Brockley Mess for almost a year since I moved to Ladywell and became pregnant with my first child. Until recently, it has proved a relaxed and convenient place for myself and my other new mummy friends to convene over a weekly lunch with our 3-4 month old babies. Sadly, the Brockley Mess is only superficially child-friendly at best. Whilst there is a childrens' menu, box of toys, ample space for buggies and high-chairs are provided, the male proprietor has now shown his true colours as someone who is not at all tolerant of, or accommodating towards, children. There are no nappy changing facilities in this cafe. This of itself is not a problem and hasn't phased my friends nor I in the past. As the toilet is too small and, in any event, not a safe place to change baby's nappy (you would need to put the baby on the toilet seat – cue rolling and smashed little heads) we elected to discreetly change our babies' wet (not soiled) nappies on the bench on which we sat (appropriately covered with baby blankets and nappy change mats, and armed with a packet-full of sanitising wipes), protected and camouflaged on all sides by our own bodies. This has proved successful in the past with no diners being at all bothered by this. Today, however, the owner told us not to change our babies in the cafe. At all. Ever. When we pointed out that there is nowhere else to change out little ones he told us in no uncertain terms to either go home and change them or not bother coming into his cafe at all. He also pulled a face when I breastfed my baby. He was then overheard telling two customers (who hadn't complained at all) that he didn't want his cafe “smelling like baby sh*t”. What a disgusting attitude towards the very people who sustain his business throughout the day (the cafe is usually full of mums with young babes during the day). The proprietor is not so much concerned to protect his customers' interests as to ensure that he is not confronted by children for whom he has a clear dislike. He has elected not to provide baby changing facilities so it is patently obvious that he is not interested in attracting young families to his premises. I refuse to spend another penny in there (indeed, I'm not allowed to stay on the premises if – God forbid – my child happens to need changing while I'm out) and I am sure that once word gets out the many parents from surrounding Brockley, Ladywell and Lewisham will also be boycotting the place.

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