How to plan a private dinner: A complete guide to hosting a memorable event

Planning a private dinner can feel like a daunting task. Perhaps you’ve got a special celebration on the horizon and are looking to do something to mark the occasion, or are simply wanting to gather a group of friends together? Either way, you might catch yourself wondering, how does private dining work? To help, we’ve compiled a handy collection of tricks and tips to organise a private dining event, from sorting a guest list all the way through to compiling your custom menus, so your meal will go off without a hitch.

You may have it in your head that private dining is only for special occasions, and whilst we definitely recommend it for those celebratory moments, it works for a whole host of events. Sometimes it's just nice to do something special, whether that be for a bridal shower or a corporate meeting, it’s an occasion to get the whole group together and let someone else take care of the cooking (and the cleaning!)

But that flexibility can leave us a little stumped when thinking about how to make the first steps to plan a dinner party. As it turns out, there are more stages involved in the process than you might first expect. It really all comes down to the advanced planning that goes into each event, with all those behind-the-scenes considerations that can really make or break your dinner. Whilst some of the items below might seem obvious, we’ve gotten down to the nitty-gritty to make sure nothing gets missed and allow your dinner to go off without a hitch.

The world of private dining might seem intimidating at first glance, but if you're ready to start, then we can help you throughout the process. From setting the budget to finding ways to add a personal touch, read below to find all our tips for planning a private dinner to give your upcoming event the best chance of success.

What is private dining? 

Private dining refers to hosting a meal in a reserved, exclusive space – often within a restaurant, hotel, or event venue – where the room is set aside solely for you and your guests. It provides a more intimate, personalised experience, usually with tailored menus, dedicated staff, and the freedom to customise the setting, schedule, and atmosphere to suit your occasion. It differs slightly from group dining, which typically (but not exclusively) refers to semi-exclusive or dining room tables that aren’t fully separated from the main restaurant.

What is the average cost of hiring a private dining room? 

For a mid-sized private dinner in a London restaurant, minimum spends range from £500 to £2,500, depending on the size and prestige of the venue. Private dining in smaller regional cities and towns across the UK might well come in under that, but again, it’s dependent on size, prestige, and location. That said, private dining pricing structures vary across the board; some will charge a flat room hire fee with food and drink costs on top, others wrap it up as a total calculated per head, and others will specify duration. For a more thorough breakdown, check out our comprehensive guide to private dining pricing.

How far in advance should I start planning a private dinner? 

The ideal planning window for a private dinner is around 4-12 weeks before the event. This gives you enough time to secure a suitable venue, confirm menu options, arrange any special requirements, and send invitations with enough time for guests to avoid conflicts. It’s worth noting, however, that for peak seasons like December, venues tend to book up quickly, especially premium restaurants and popular private dining spaces so you might want to start planning 12-16 weeks ahead.

10 must-know tips to plan a private dinner

While it might initially feel like a bit of a headache, when you nail down your non-negotiables and know what to look for, planning a private dining event can be super straightforward. Read on to discover all the must-know tips for private dining planning: 

1. Define your purpose

First things first, it's important to determine the 'why?' No two private dinners will be the same, so you have to consider the point of your event. It may seem simple: you might just want a space to throw a birthday party or an upcoming network event, but the why is crucial to the rest of your planning process. It can help determine the costs, the venue you choose and the types of menus you'll pick.

Planning a birthday celebration? Some venues, like Swingers West End, combine activities and dinner into neat packages for groups

We’re sure that if you’re here, then you already have an event in mind, but sometimes it’s important to think about these little details and really get down to those finer points that can help you facilitate the rest of the planning process. 

2. Write your guest list

Before you begin to consider booking a venue, you'll need to finalise the people you're going to invite. This information will help determine your private dining room, with different spaces accommodating for different sized groups. Once your guest list is confirmed, be sure to browse our private dining guides that offer recommendations for the perfect sized space. Be sure to browse through the best private dining rooms for 15 people, or perhaps London's best spaces for 30 people if you're looking to invite a few more guests.

You'll also need to convey this information to the venue when discussing minimum spends or minimum numbers for set menus. Certain sites will allow discounted options depending on the number of guests you're hosting, so it's best to know this information in advance.

3. Set your budget

The price of a private dinner can widely vary, with sneaky extra costs that can crop up here and there if you’re not expecting them. That doesn’t mean it has to be expensive though. London boasts a wide variety of spaces for any event, with plenty of affordable private dining options available if you know where to look. We recommend spending a bit of time to come up with a definitive number so you know roughly how much you want or expect to spend on your private dinner (then try not to go over it!). 

Plus, knowing this information in advance will help you make further decisions. You’ll need to consider the potential for room hire costs, whether your venue has minimum spends, what are the menu costs - is it a fixed price per head or can guests choose from an a la carte? 

Here, you can define your non-negotiables, ensuring that you stick to your priorities, such as size and location, and can find the appropriately priced room to match. It’s always good to leave a bit of wiggle room, allocating a little bit extra in case of any unforeseen costs. For a general overview of the pricing, check out our guide to private dining costs, to help break this down even further.

4. Select the theme or style of your dinner

This one might not be for everyone, so feel free to skip this step if you’re looking to keep things a tad simpler. But if you have a vision in mind, a themed event can be a great hit. If you're hosting a bridal or baby shower then the theme is likely a given, but you can still consider the decor and backdrop to go alongside this: whether that be a simple, blank canvas space or something a bit more floral and vibrant. More concrete themes could help tie your private dinner together, especially if you're hosting a birthday party. These could include a carnival or circus theme, 20s Gatsby glamour, vintage Hollywood, masquerade and many more.

An ornate venue like The Grand Hotel Birmingham is great if you're planning a large, themed gala dinner.

It's also worth considering the tone you're looking to portray at your event, whether that be casual, corporate, or somewhere in between. A venue will set the vibe for your evening, so it's worth having some ideas in mind for when you begin searching for your perfect venue. You might want to keep in mind whether you're looking for a space with musical entertainment, whether that be jazz singers, DJ booths or even a touch of karaoke to bring your dinner to life. 

5. Figure out your timings and flow

Depending on the purpose, theme, and group size, you might need to carefully manage timings at your private dinner. Are you starting with welcome drinks and nibbles before hot food? Are you planning a speech or presentation? Do you have dinner party games in mind to play between courses? These are all important things to think about so staff can manage the flow of food and drink. After all, no kitchen wants to serve cold food!

L'oscar, for instance, can offer the Butterfly Lounge for drinks, followed by dinner in The Committee Room, which also offers presentation and AV equipment

What’s more, the venue might have a bar area or additional space to host reception drinks, which is always a plus. But the most important thing is to gauge how long the dinner might last, and ensure the venue can accommodate you for that length of time without additional costs. So, how long should a private dinner last? Well, that depends on the occasion. The average is around three hours, though if you're planning something more elaborate, with larger numbers, or speeches, presentations, games, and reception drinks, you should tag on one or two hours extra.

6. Choose and book your venue

Here are a few things to have in mind when booking your venue:

Date: Certain times of year will be busier than others - Christmas, we're looking at you - with prices changing for peak dates and times. But it's worth having a couple of options when you're searching for the perfect space. 

Size: Private dining rooms come in all shapes and sizes, offering spaces for smaller intimate groups all the way up to exclusive spaces for hundreds. Make sure you have a rough idea of your guest list so you can get something that will accommodate everyone. 

Ansty Hall, in Warwickshire, has several different sized private dining spaces, from the 20-seater Henry's Library, to the 120-person Orangery.

Location: There are several spots across central London (and beyond), so if you have an area in mind then be sure to narrow your search, or find somewhere with excellent transport links. Check out this selection of private dining rooms for every part of London, the best private dining rooms in Manchester, top places for a private dinner in Leeds, or private spaces for hire in Edinburgh.

Exclusivity: It’s important to decide whether you’re looking for complete privacy for your event, or if you want to be a part of the restaurant buzz with partial exclusivity in a semi-enclosed space.

Layout: You might also want to consider whether the space is adaptable. Are you looking for flexible spaces that can be rearranged to match your event, whether that be theatre, dining or boardroom style. Not all spaces offer complete flexibility so be sure to double check.

Cuisine: It's worth considering the types of cuisine you're looking for as part of your event. Be sure to double check with your guests about any dietary requirements and intolerances they may have.

Ambience: Thanks to London’s plethora of private dining rooms you’ve pretty much got your pick, from casual pubs to glamorous dining. Anyone will tell you that the venue sets the tone of your event, so picking somewhere with the right ambience is key.

Al fresco? You also need to decide if you want your dinner to be indoors or outdoors. A lovely little al fresco dining space could make for a delightful evening (British weather permitting, of course). Lots of outdoor private dining spaces have the potential to be covered and heated so the weather won't necessarily wash out your celebration.

Find the best outdoor private dining rooms in London, by clicking on our handy guide.

This outdoor terrace at Rockwater, in Hove, makes a delightful al fresco dining spot.

Once you've decided exactly what you're looking for, be sure to browse through our selections of private dining rooms, where you can select various facets to make your search a bit easier. We advise getting in contact with the venue as early as possible. Private dining spaces, especially those at popular restaurants, often get booked up quickly, particularly during peak times. So for the best chance of bagging the dates in mind, you'll want to get sorted asap.

7. Set your menus

Once you're all booked in with the venue, now's the time to get down to the best part - the food. It's not just about the type of cuisine on offer, but the types of menus that are available. Certain places will offer set menus for private groups with others organising sharing platters, canapes or bowls of nibbles that can cater to your event. Or, you might just want to consider a restaurant's a la carte - just make sure to order in advance to avoid chaos and long waits.

Each event will warrant something different, from sit down meals to cocktail and canape receptions that invite guests to mingle. Certain places may already have pre-determined menus for larger groups, but sometimes sites are happy to let you work with the team to curate your perfect menu. Make sure you offer a variety of options to accommodate all different tastes and dietary requirements. These should be verified with guests in advance and then forwarded on to the venue to ensure that they can cater for these.

You might also be given the chance to select your drink options for the event. Working alongside the restaurant team, you can often curate cocktails for the dinner or choose specialist wine pairings for your guests. Don't forget to include a couple of non-alcoholic options for those who may not be drinking.

8. Personalise the experience

Whether you’ve chosen to go themed or not, that doesn’t stop you from adding a few little personalised touches to the dinner. Having customised menus and place cards, for example, can add a bit of pizazz whilst adding a practical element to avoid stress about where everyone is sitting, and ensure your guests know exactly what’s on offer.

Why not order some personalised place cards from Papier to give your event a nice touch.

If you're looking to keep your event a bit more eco-friendly, then you could even consider sending paperless invitations instead.

It might also be a nice touch to bring some floral arrangements or balloons (there’s a balloon for every occasion) to decorate the space. Or, if you’ve decided on a theme then this is really your time to shine with endless possibilities.

9. Confirm your reservation and final details

It’s always worth a follow up, both with the restaurant and your guests, just a few days before to confirm the reservation and finalise any last-minute details or changes. This way you can double-check the menus, seating arrangements and anything else you’ve got lined up. If you’ve braved outdoor seating, now might also be the time to check the weather in case you need to source a canopy or see about moving your table inside.

Luxury hotels like The Cadogan offer the perfect mix of plush, opulent surroundings and classy food.

10. Enjoy!

On the day of the dinner make sure to arrive early to greet your guests and just give everything one final check, to ensure everything is according to plan. Whilst it’s easy to stress about all the final little details, don’t forget to relax, enjoy the food and a couple of drinks and enjoy your evening.

Questions to ask your private dining venue

• How can we handle dietary requirements and allergies?
• Can I customise the menu, or is it fixed?
• When do you need final menu choices confirmed?
• Do I need to create a seating plan?
• Can you give me a breakdown of costs?
• What happens if my guest numbers change?
• What are the options for background music? Can we bring our own playlist?
• Can I bring my own cake, wine, decorations, or entertainment?
• How long do we have the room for?
• Will there be an event manager or point of contact on the day?
• When do you want me to arrive on the day to confirm everything is in place?

Booking for a corporate occasion? Check out our round-up of London's finest corporate private dining rooms. Want to stay in the know with all the latest private dining and venue tips and tricks? Just sign yourself up for the SquareMeal newsletter and hear all the latest venue news, trends, interviews and more.