A guide to wedding roles: Who does what in your wedding party?

Of course, you two, the happy couple, are the most important people in attendance at your wedding. But it wouldn't be the same without all of those that will make it special for you, and if you're in the wedding planning process, this is the time to make some choices. When putting together your wedding party, you've got the chance to include your family and friends in the most special day of your lives. They'll likely be very touched by you including them in your wedding, and hopefully, will want to get stuck in and help you with taking a few tasks off your plate.

All of these roles traditionally come with their own responsibilities, whether that’s picking up your train as you walk down the aisle, or welcoming guests into your reception. When choosing your wedding party, you should consider who would be most comfortable with each role, as most wedding roles will include some form of public speaking, or a few moments of focused attention.

Some people feel that the choice of some wedding roles is made for them – such as father or mother of the bride, a best man, and bridesmaids – which can be both a blessing and a curse. But it’s important to remember that every part of your wedding should be down to you two, as a couple, and you should surround yourselves with a wedding party that supports and loves you.

It’s important for us to mention that there really isn’t any set way of doing things. Whilst traditionally an older brother may act as a best man, and your father would walk you down the aisle, you can really mix things up and have a best mate instead, or get your gran to scatter petals as your bridesmaids walk before you. The choice is yours.

If you do go down the traditional route, though, you’ll likely have some of the roles already sorted, which can be handy. But for those of you out there wondering if your beloved family pet can be a flower girl, or if it’s acceptable for your bridesmaids to give the speech instead of the best men, don’t worry, we’ve got you covered with our comprehensive guide to wedding roles.

Maid of honour

The maid of honour is very similar in its role to a best man – accompanying the bride or groom as they get ready, walk down the aisle, and sometimes, giving a speech. A maid of honour may be required to wipe away the bride's tears as she gets emotional on the day, or help with choosing a wedding outfit. If you plan on having a hen party, too, the maid of honour typically assumes responsibility for this role, sometimes with the help of the other bridesmaids. Having said this, like all roles, your maid of honour could be a man of honour, or you could not have one at all. Some people prefer to go without a singular maid of honour, as they can’t choose between their bridesmaids.

Ring bearer

Many people choose a trustworthy bridesmaid to act as the ring bearer - like these at Bowerchalke Barn

The ring bearer is there to present the wedding rings to the happy couple, and is perhaps the most variable role of the whole day. Typically, people will choose a close family member, a little one or one of the page boys to carry the rings, but more and more couples are choosing to have their dogs carry out this all important task, and we’re big fans.

Ushers

Ushers can be a select few friends who you trust to seat everyone efficiently, but more importantly, who are there to have a good time - like this bridal party at The Old Kent Barn

No, we’re not talking about the singer-songwriter, Usher, we’re talking about your group of organised friends or family who will help your day run smoothly. Ushers help show your guests to their seats before the ceremony starts, greet people as they come into the reception, and provide directions and help throughout the day. Ushers are fairly similar in their roles to that of groomsmen, but may have a less formal role, and sometimes will wear their own outfits rather than matching suits.

Bridesmaids

A bride with her bridesmaids at Childerley Long Barn and a luxury bridal proposal box - one of the many ways to ask your best friends to fill this all-important role.

Once upon a time, a bridesmaid or maid of honour would walk behind the bride as she made her way down the aisle, holding onto her train and ensuring that she got to the front smoothly. This is one of the oldest roles in the history of weddings, and bridesmaids have remained the rocks of the bride throughout time. Bridesmaids, or bridesmen, will typically chip in to help the maid of honour with any planning, assist the couple with any DIY, and so much more. Your bridesmaids will be your eyes and ears, and you may even want to task them with keeping their eyes on certain guests, or dragging everybody onto the dancefloor.

Groomsmen

Some suave groomsmen at Lower House Farm

As we mentioned before, groomsmen are very similar to ushers, despite them being quite different in their traditional form. Groomsmen are those that are closer to the groom, and will stand at the aisle near the best man, help to plan the stag and maybe chime in on the speech. While you can most certainly have separate ushers and groomsmen, you could easily combine these roles and ask your groomsmen to show guests to their seats, before coming to stand with you at the altar.

Officiant

An officiant conducting a wedding ceremony in the lush surrounds at Denbies Wine Estate 

The officiant is somebody who is legally certified to officiate at your wedding ceremony. While historically, this role was once undertaken by a religious leader, many people now opt for non-denominational weddings with an ordained professional officiant, or a friend who has qualified themselves as a celebrant. This is an important role, as the tone and mood of the officiant can largely be responsible for setting the vibe in the room. You want to make sure you start your life as a married couple on a jolly note, in a way that reflects your love.

Best man

The best man, or best woman, is there to support the bride or groom in the lead up to the wedding and on the big day. Your best man should be somebody that you can trust, and rely upon to help you with decision making, organising and running errands, along with planning a killer stag and delivering a memorable speech.

Bride and groom

A bride and groom having a 'just married' photoshoot in the romantic surrounds at Downham Hall

It goes without saying, the happy couple are pretty important. Traditionally, a groom will be waiting at the end of the aisle for the bride to appear, but these days, couples often walk down the aisle together, or one at a time. Whatever your wedding looks like is all up to you!

Father of the bride

The father of the bride walking her down the aisle at the stunning Dunglass Estate

The father of the bride role is another of the most traditional, and has one of the most set in stone duties that everybody always remembers – walking the bride down the aisle. But this role doesn't have to be undertaken by a father. It could be your mum, a grandparent, step-parent, a friend, sibling, child, or anybody you choose. Traditionally, the bride will do a first look with the person giving her away, in what is usually a very emotional moment. The father of the bride also tends to deliver a speech, making it one of the most emotional and important roles of the day.

Flower girl

A small wedding role, but one that makes everybody smile, is that of the flower girl. While most people associate a flower girl with being a role that is given to one or more young girls in your close circle, this role can be carried out by anyone. Instead of dropping petals for the bride to walk upon, flower girls, or boys, sometimes now hand out beverages, perform dances, or throw out sweets. You can get as inventive as you want with this role.

Junior bridesmaids

Sweet junior bridesmaids following the bride at Smedmore House 

Junior bridesmaids do exactly what bridesmaids do – walk down the aisle with the wedding party, pose for photos, get ready with the bride – but they may miss out on pre-wedding events like the hen do, and take a more relaxed approach with their duties, as they’re typically younger members of your close circle.

Page

Organising outdoor games is a great way to occupy your page boys after they've completed their duties - like this giant Jenga at Ingleside House

Page boys were traditionally the male equivalent of a flower girl, and were roles carried out by younger members of your family or friends. Some couples will ask the page boys and flower girls to walk down the aisle together, each tossing out petals for confetti, or give the page the role of ring bearer so that they have a more personalised role.

Guest book attendants

Wedding guests cheering the happy couple at Pelham House

The role of a guest book attendant cannot be underestimated. How many weddings have you been to where the newlyweds are left with a guestbook that is totally unsigned, or has just a few pages with scribbles on? The guest book attendants will ask your guests to sign your guest book, or leave a special message for you on a photo booth picture. They can also be asked to assist you on the day with providing instructions, and ensuring that the wedding party has everything that they need.

Father of the groom

The father of the groom celebrating his newly married son at Bowerchalke Barn

In some ceremonies, the father or mother of the groom will walk him down the aisle, entering the full room of guests before the bridal party begin their entrances.

Once you've selected your all-important wedding party, its time to get planning how to entertain your guests! Take a look at our guide to fun and unique ways to entertain your wedding guests for some inspiration.