Alas, the summer holidays are over and the little darlings are back to school. But when you’ve finished dabbing your eyes as you wave them goodbye, you’ll come to realise just how much extra time you have on your hands. And after more than a month of beans on toast, dripping ice creams and wiping choccy faces, you’re doubtless eager to savour more mature pursuits. So here we’ve listed some very grown-up dining venues that can be enjoyed without your little ones. Yes, some of these restaurants welcome children, but we believe that you (probably) and everyone else (definitely) will have a much nicer time if a visit to them remained an adult affair…
Alain Ducasse at The Dorchester, Mayfair (above)
One thing is certain: the combination of “Swiss bank account” prices with three-Michelin-star status at this august establishment leads to some of the highest expectations in London. So, perhaps plastic bibs aren’t the ideal fashion accessory. Restraint and harmony characterise the technically flawless cooking – and these values also apply to the design of the creamy-coloured room, where tantrums and sticky fingerprints just won’t do.
The Araki, Mayfair
Overseen by internationally lauded sushi master, Mitsuhiro Araki, The Araki is like no other London Japanese restaurant – although it comes at a price. Bookings are limited to nine covers twice a night, and you can expect to pay £300 a head for the omakase menu. There might be more cost-effective ways of filling up a child, but adults will relish the astonishing delicacies (from limpid red snapper and seaweed broth to the “most melting” o-toro nigiri), the antique serving dishes and the “effortlessly simple” dining space.
Bob Bob Ricard, Soho (above)
The decadent all-booth dining room here is a real dazzler with its polished marble, gleaming mirrors and tasselled drapes. Luxury also suffuses the Anglo-Russian menu, with such ingredients as lobster and truffles to the fore. To match the sophisticated food and decor, Bob is one of the few places in London explicitly to rule that no under-12s may enter. This limitation probably has something to do with the (working) button that reads ‘press for Champagne’. We shudder to think of the havoc that could be caused…
Dabbous, Fitzrovia (below)
With its heavy metal door and intimidating neutrality, the exterior of the 2012 BMW Square Meal Restaurant of the Year recalls the austerity of the former Soviet Union. Push through the door, though, and you’ll be pleased to discover a very relaxed, informal space where “industrial chic meets Scandi cool”. Michelin-starred Ollie Dabbous is behind the stoves, producing “highly creative” small plates of modern European food such as ibérico pork paired with acorn praline. It’s so good, you won’t want to bring the kids – until they’re old enough to pay for you.
Hibiscus, Hanover Square
While the Relais & Châteaux plaque hanging outside Hibiscus indicates that diners are in for something formally French, it doesn’t prepare visitors for the challenging, “experimental” nature of the cooking – which won’t require equally challenging children on the side. Claude Bosi’s intensely flavoured standouts include Asian-accented froth presented in a blue eggshell; this might be wasted on someone who’d much prefer egg and soldiers.
The Square, Mayfair
Quite simply, The Square is the top-end restaurant against which all others must be measured – from its “impeccable service”, “excellent atmosphere” and “superb wine matching” to Phil Howard’s “exceptional tasting menu” and food that is “without doubt the best in London”. Thoughtful touches abound: bespoke tableware for the amuse-bouches; homemade biscuits with the cheese.
Sketch: Lecture Room & Library, Hanover Square (above)
Abandon your reserve as you step into Sketch – a surrealist wonderland full of dazzling delights. Stairs ‘melt’ into the hallway floor; a trip to the ladies loo finds you inside a giant, crystal-bedecked music box; stucco ceilings and jewel-coloured armchairs point up the light-filled Lecture Room. To match all this, Pierre Gagnaire’s refined, multi-layered food shows a “total mastery of flavours”. While little ones would love the enchanting wackiness here, we would advise against taking them, for fear they would refuse to leave. And coaxing a small child out of an egg-shaped loo is something we’d rather avoid.
Umu, Mayfair
Ultra-discreet Umu isn’t the sort of restaurant you just stumble upon – and to eat the luxurious food (hailing from the Japanese city of Kyoto) you need to bring your most flexible credit card. A high-tech ‘touch to enter’ pad by the front door gives access to a Zen interior of polished wood and a repertoire of high-class cuisine with “incredible fish” as the star turn. We dare you to turn up and ask for a kiddies menu…
Wiltons, St James's (above)
The British Establishment – from captains of industry to toffs up from the shires – can often be spotted at this stiff-upper-lipped St James’s stalwart. Seafood and fish are the shining stars of the staunchly traditional British menu. Change has come slowly and women are still a rare sight: apart from the pinny-wearing waitresses, who briskly advise customers what to eat in the best tradition of ‘nanny knows best’. Do not confuse them with actual nannies or expect them to look after your children.
This article was published 2 September 2015