Gilly's review of The Ivy

Could not have been more disappointing.

I'm sorry, but it is hard to think of a single thing to say in favour of the Ivy.

We went there really hoping and expecting that the occasion would be special, and it was only as the meal wore on that we had to stop pretending that it was even OK. We had a couple of decent gin and tonics, and after that it just went downhill.

Firstly, there is a difference between attentive service and obtrusive service: being asked to order literally one minute after being handed the menu is definitely the latter. The presentation was poor, with no attention to detail whatsoever. The bisque was OK, but nothing more, and slopping it out of a small pan at the table, if supposed to impress, should be done with more care. The spiced duck was dry. Both main courses arrived barely lukewarm, and the salmon fishcake was bland. But worst of all was the green curried lamb, and only my ‘Britishness’ stopped me sending it back. Barely warm, it was tough, gristly, and thoroughly unappetising. I tried to persevere, but gave up less than halfway through as I slowly accepted that yes, although we were in the famous ‘Ivy’, the food really was this bad.

A final mango tart was acceptable, but like the rest of the meal, not a patch on what we'd had the previous night at the unpretentious Café Rouge next to our hotel, the Grange St Paul.

Overall, the abiding feeling was that the Ivy is simply too famous for being the Ivy to care about its food, and perhaps we ‘non-famous’ diners are simply a nuisance to be fed and pushed out in the shortest time possible. The American ladies next to us must have been out of the door in about half an hour as the waiters rushed them through their grim-looking portions of shepherd's pie.

Sadly, a memorable meal for all the wrong reasons. There are so many, many better places to eat, please don't be another Ivy victim!