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|Address:||400 Oxford Street, Selfridges, London W1A 1AB|
|Tel:||020 3589 4527|
|Price: £46.00||Wine: £20.50||Champagne: £50.75|
|Opening Hours:||Mon-Fri 11am-10pm Sat-Sun 10am-10pm|
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Where to start? I knew that we would be pushing our luck getting a table at 1400 on a Saturday, however, we were told “15 mins” and we could wait in the bar which we duly did. Wait, I mean. Couldn't find a barman for love nor money, then finally a suit jacketed man (Ian) appeared curtly asking “What's the matter?”. Not the usual opener when sitting drinkless in a bar… So I ordered two glasses of champagne, letting him know we were waiting for a table. He looked incredibly put out. Whilst waiting (you will see a theme emerge here) for our drinks, I saw two lots of tables come in and be seated immediately. So I wandered over to the entrance to be rudely asked again by the lovely Ian “Is there a problem?” at which stage I explained the situation and he replied, “Well I thought you were in the bar!”
We were escorted – a phrase I use loosely – to our table with the phrase “Well come on then.”. As you would imagine at this stage my friend and I are gob smacked. After 5 minutes of waiting, I ask for a menu, after 15 minutes of waiting I ask to order. I think that they were fermenting the wine, it took so long to arrive, the first course took 20 mins to appear at which stage we had finished our drinks and were bereft of the rest of the bottle. The only wait staff I could see on the floor was the hostess, whom I asked to locate our wine and preferably pour us a glass. For some unfathomable reason, our wine was reclining in a bucket two tables away, once found she made a huge production of serving it before exclaiming “You see, I am not a very good waitress!”. To which my response was that no one in Hix was a very good waitress. The dirty plates remained in front of us until the main course arrived which was another 20 mins after the first.
Finally the bill. I asked for the bill, which was the only thing to be delivered promptly. After 15 mins, with our credit cards in full view my friend and I collected our things and went to the bathroom. I waited at the bar to pay for another 5 mins and then sauntered downstairs. I bought something in Kiehls, something in the perfume room and then left the building. No payment, and I can safely say we earned that meal.
Three hours for 2 starters and two mains with the most disgusting service I have ever experienced, including Chinatown in the 80s! DON'T GO.