Alexander's review of Chez Patrick

“That's the worst meal I have had in London for a long time” said my wife through gritted teeth after a Thursday lunch at Chez Patrick. Having just moved into the area, we had been looking forward to visiting this “local's” restaurant and hoping to discover a hidden gem. Whilst I didn't feel as strongly as my wife on account that my lunch was saved by a high quality sirloin steak (and so it should have been for £19!), we will not be returning.

First impressions: decor is simple and very French. After a while, we began to find things were tired and cheap. The MD (and owner according to Square Meal's own reviewer) is an acquired taste: at first we found him charming and funny but as the time went by he seemed overbearing, arrogant and irritating. I have not marked them down particularly on this as it's “each to their own”, as they say.

Now for the food: for starters, the grilled squid was rubbery and tasteless and my tuna tartare was mixed with a home-made mayonnaise, which meant you couldn't taste the tuna.

Main courses: my wife's crab and scallop ravioli had sounded so promising. Sadly it was swimming in a cream sauce that was far too rich and overpowering. She said it made her retch. My sirloin was “bleu” when it was served (I had asked for it medium rare) and they were quick to sort it out.

Value for money? Not good. 2 starters and 2 mains with a bottle of water came to £47.50 (the sirloin accounting for 40% of this). Scandalously, the restaurant has a policy of adding a “discretionary optional” 15% to the bill. We certainly didn't think the service or the experience was worth this, but entering into what would undoubtably have been a heated argument with a haughty MD would have ruined our day not just our lunch.