Betjeman's

Claire H. ( )

Despite us being ravenous, three out of four of the dishes of the two course meal disappeared back to the kitchen with the majority of the grotesque food sitting on the plate. Scallop, leek and fish gratin – would anyone expect to break open this pretty little gratin and find a ladleful of mutant pink smoked salmon? Probably not. I'm not adverse to a bit of smoked salmon, unless I've also ordered a smoked haddock kedgeree, which unfortunately I had on this occasion. To add to the shock of finding the smoked fish there in the first place, it was the most pungent smoked salmon I have ever ingested, and the sauce was seasoned to the point of crazy. My boyfriend's duck shepherds' pie was dreary, gloopy and greying. His lamb was probably the best bit, and he happily tucked into the pink meat until he hit the ‘herb’ crust which, he said, would be more aptly used as a decongestant. The kedgeree? It arrived with three huge shrivelled haddock piled high on the plate between layers of stalky spinach. The poor haddock had the texture of fish which had been cooked for an hour this morning then kept luke-warm all afternoon. The weird curry-cream floating on the plate, which I had begun to mop up with the dry rice, was soon tarnished with undercooked egg white. It was truly horrendous. We all know that kitchens have an ‘off’ day now and then (like it or not), but I did not know it was possible to get it so wrong.