Oslo Court

Overlook the dated salmon pink look in a flat block and you will receive a warm welcome inside. the portions are huge (starters are as big as mains), staff (specially the camp dessert expert) are friendly. it seemed very popular with people celebrating birthdays.

Have been here before but things have gone downhill. The vegetables were overcooked and there is a heavy reliance on mayonnaise based sauces. The worst thing was the service – our dessert was a long time coming but as we had time to wait we said nothing – even though the table next door was served ahead of us in spite of them finishing their main course a long time after us. The staff then seemed to decide they wanted our table in a hurry (although the restaurant was half empty) – a young waiter tried to clear the table around one of our guests who was still eating. I asked him to wait – which he did. An older waiter stormed straight over and cleared all the plates, leaving one guest still eating dessert. This is not the way to treat people in a restaurant – the older waiter should be ashamed of himself.

Good restaurant for good quality food, good service and reasonable prices – it is like stepping back in to a restaurant from the 70's with decor and menu – but where can you get fresh whole globe artichokes for a starter nowadays. Steak au povre is good and the wine list is cheap by London standards – loads of regulars – mainly elderly thou so not a place for a lively young couple but ideaal for taking the parents for a quiet decent meal.

The most amazing restaurant in the world without a doubt. I went the other day for a family meal, and it reminded me (not that I needed reminding) why this is my favourite restaurant and why nowhere else even comes close.

All the “fancy” restaurants nowadays have ludicrously tiny portions – nouvelle cuisine. Whoever thinks that nouvelle cuisine is ‘fine dining’ needs serious help (maybe they are anorexics?). Oslo Court give you massive portions – which one should expect when going to a classy restaurant, which is wonderful, usually I leave restaurants starving because I have been fed nouvelle cuisine, i.e. there is practically nothing on the plate, but at Oslo Court not only do you get huge portions, but the food is utterly delicious. The whole experience is amazing. The staff are extremely friendly and helpful, the food is more than value for money – you get cruidites, dips and crisp bread, followed by a roll, then your starter, then main course with vegetables aplenty and then your desert, served by the fabulous Neil who if you want it, is more than happy to give you a normal sized portion of every desert on the trolley! Please note, I do not say ‘a bit of everything’, because it is not a bit of everything – you literally if you want can get one of every desert on the trolley at normal portion size.

The food is so tasty I leave wondering how I'll ever eat any other food again.

As for the decor that so many unlightened people mention in the reviews above, who cares?!! Yes it's old fashioned but it's nice old fashioned, it's not like it's shabby. And yes, a lot of the clientele are older, though there are also younger people out on family dinners, but I am 25 and just don't care how old the people are! (I'd be happy to come with a whole load of 25 year olds too!) I think people have forgotten thanks to the onset of modern decorated restaurants with no food (oops sorry ‘nouvelle cusine’), what real restaurants are like. You go for the food to a restaurant, not the decor or the people dining there. And if you get that upset by the other people dining there, you probably shouldn't be out with whoever you came with if they are not interesting enough to keep your attention to save you looking at the other diners. The people who gave this good reviews you clearly have good taste in restaurants and enjoy good food. The others, who gave it bad reviews, you clearly have no idea what good food is, and are miserable, bitter anorexic people.

I'm surprised at all the good reviews here. I'm also surprised at Squaremeals own review – has anybody from here been there recently?
Went for the first time after hearing 2 friends rave about the food there, and must say that it was one of the worst meals I have had to date.
Food is very obviously frozen, that's why everything we ordered was so chewy and bland tasting. And that's why the menu is so long. Sauces are disgusting and nasty, my dog would not go near them. Desserts are average at best. We were 4 people, we all hated every single dish, and when the bill came, we felt like idiots. Venue and colour scheme verge on the ridiculous.
Great place for old people and their old dogs. But once they're in a better place, who will go there?
Crazy.

I was amazed at the previous low grades shown for the Oslo Court. I have been going to the Olso Court for close to ten years and I must admit in all of that time – be it with friends, family, clients I have never had a bad experience. It is true that the restaurant is focused on traditional french cooking and the clients might be of an older age group (40+) however the atmosphere is always excellent as can be seen by the long standby lists for tables. The front of house is probably the best I have experienced and I have been fortunate enough to travel the world and eat at some of the finest locations… the food is traditional, fresh (I stress fresh) and plenty of it. plus it has a fantastic wine list…It is a great place to celebrate a birthday or special event…and the desserts are to die for… Anyway… I would stress the other members who did not have a good meal to come with me for a meal so that they can explain what they mean as I for one believe they must have gone to another restaurant in error…

Did anybody know that after the age of 60, people lose about 75% of their tastebuds?

My wifes' parents came from Florida to visit and insisted we'd go to Oslo Court. I had never even heard of it and now I know why. The location, a pink flat with frilly pink curtains on the ground floor of a grey 30s block, and everything inside the restaurant including the diners, the menu and the produce, might have been original from when the building was actually erected. I though I was dining within a movie scene of Cocoon and waited for Steve Guttenberg to appear. But that wasn't even the bad part – the truly bad part was the inedible food they serve you. A huge wave of nauseating, unpalatable slop was unleashed on us as if there is no fresh produce available on earth. Service was mediocre, nothing to rave about, and dessert…well let's just say there's a trolley and a trolley operator who seems to have failed several West End auditions. Needless to say that my In-laws are banned from chosing any restaurants in the future. My wife agrees with my verdict: Ridiculously revolting.

Goodness me, even the walls and the floor are pink!
The atmosphere is this: if you like being the only non-pensioner in a restaurant which resembles a tacky cruise ship then Oslo Court is definately for you.
And even if one disregards the tasteless surroundings and the sloppy service: the food is plain and simple disgusting at this restaurant!
I never use this word to describe food but this is what Oslo Court deserves. As soon as we sat down my husband noticed the length of the menu: only a restaurant with pre frozen food and lots of microwaves in the kitchen can offer such a huge and non seasonal menu. Everything we ordered tasted pre cooked and bland and we felt like pigs being fed by a troff. The portions are gianormous, the food barely edible. Maybe they cover everything in sauce so it goes down more easily. I am not sure what kind of person is standing in the kitchen laddeling sauce after sauce lovelessly over microwaved fish and meat, but these people are lucky Oslo Court is still open. Once the pensioners are gone, this restaurant will close for sure, or finally join everybody else in the new millenium, but it will be too late. Insult to injury came when I asked for pineapple for dessert and was brought pineapple rings from the can! My husband's face was priceless, since, him being greek and used to fresh fruit or no fruit, he has never ever seen a canned pineapple ring offered in a restaurant!
I simply can not understand how anybody in their right state of mind can rave about their dining experience there.
HORRID!

I have a suspicion that the previous reviews are fake. Only a person who had been incarcerated in solitary confinement for 40 years would give this ‘restaurant’ a 9 or 10 for atmosphere!
The entire dining room (table cloths, drapes, curtains, napkins) is swimming in a sickening colour of salmon-peach-pink. During the day (I once nearly had lunch there) the place looks as if it hadn't been properly cleaned in 20 years and during the night one is surrounded by admittedly happy octagenarians, swallowing chewfree overcooked ‘food’ which is drowning in mayonnaise/cheese rich sauces from a bottle, that contain more E-numbers than real ingredients.
There is a good reason why old fashioned belly busters such as Cordon Bleu, Steak Diane and prawn cocktail have nearly become extinct. Having these dishes swim in half a litre of pink gunk will not make them taste any better – it often just masks expired and poor quality ingredients.
When I was unfortunate enough to be invited for an evening meal there it all started with a plate of dried out discoloured cruditee' and a mayonnaise dip (from a bottle) at the bar. I was left completely unimpressed and we haven't even been seated yet. Then the horror followed: mass produced white breadrolls that one can buy frozen were brought to us, followed by our starters: an enormous seafood salad covered in a sea of bright pink thousand island dressing. The seafood itself had been either bought in already cooked or it had been pre cooked – it was like touching rubber – I did not even taste it, so revolted was I!
I had ordered baby scallops which came covered in a brownish sauce and tasted also pre cooked and not freshly prepared. Then I had a steak (nature) which was utterly average and a mountain of bland, boiled tasteless vegetables and my dinner companion had something that wasn't visible because it was on the bottom of the plate covered by yet again another disgusting sauce, this time light brownish in colour and apparently a favourite of Oslo Court patrons: a brandy sauce which should have been served in 1981 and with a straw please, so one can get to the meat. Amazingly he loved the food!! I guess there's a (erm) buyer for everything…
As for the desserts: although I had no pudding (I could not wait to get out of the old peoples' home and get myself to Maroush for a Kofta sandwich, i had barely eaten anything) they all looked completely average and uninspiring. Who needs a trolley and flamboyant dessert waiter when the fruit looks like it came from a can?
Overall the dining experience at Oslo Court can indeed be very unique, but to be honest i would not wish it upon anybody with healthy tastbuds. The portions are farm-animal sized, but that is irrelevant because the food itself is neither fresh and seasonal, nor prepared well.
From the decor to the menu, everything about this horrific place is dated, old, cheesy and long long gone. Maybe It is time that Oslo Court follows to Neverneverland, although in a city like London, full of amazing eateries, this restaurant is at least in the perfect location: a concrete, dusty, 70's block of flats.

Not only do they have a comprehensive a la carte menu but there is a list of daily specials as long as your arm. Old fashioned favourites such as veal milanese and duck a l'orange are always lovingly prepared and served with copious amounts of vegetables. There is a small bar for pre-dinner drinks where they served great crudite to whet your appetite. Oslo Court isnt your average restaurant, being on the ground floor of a block of flats it is a little like stepping into somebody's 1980's pink living room! However, this all adds to the charm. The food is always excellent and seasonal, the staff are extrememly friendly and attentative, and the ambience is a mixture of family night out and Costa del Sol glamour. You certainly won't leave Oslo Court without feeling you have dined well and for that alone I would say it is excellent value.

Oslo Court

St John's Wood, at the bottom of Oslo Court, a large block of flats. My wife, Ros's, birthday dinner.

We walk in, veer past the flats receptionist and go through the restaurant's double doors to have our coats taken, the woman having recognised our name from our booking. We're led into a large, pink, seventies-feeling room with some framed drawings around. We're given our choice of two tables as we're on time for our seven o'clock sitting (also a nine-thirty on Saturday).

All is calm and comfortable, the carpet and cushioned chairs absorbing any conversation spikes among the well-off, no doubt repeat clientele of — probably mostly — locals. They are mostly of an age, a number brought by taxi.

The wine list — a large choice, by the glass, half bottle or bottle. We decide on a £20 ruby red 2005 Rioja. Crudités brought by another Italian waiter; tap water requested and brought with ice immediately. Woman comes to tell us what the starters and mains specials are — about ten of each.

She goes off while we ponder, comes back and we ask her to repeat the lists, which she does with ease and a smile. Ros has ‘native’ (Dorchester) oysters in the shell, on crushed ice; I have a salad heaped with lobster slices. We ‘follow’ with Ros's duckling in orange sauce and my beef Wellington.

‘Is it to your taste?’ the woman comes by to enquire. The meat is meltingly medium rare, the gravy a bit brown to my taste, but I have only compliments.

It's a fixed price £40 (though we hadn't known our specials would carry small surcharges), so you can choose which vegetables and potatoes you want with your mains — or you can let the woman decide for you. Everything seems done to please, to try to make sure you feel comfortable and satisfied.

As the plates are cleared the excitably camp pudding man bounds up, warning us about his few remaining crèmes brûlées ('So many people! 300 people!'), and regaling us about his bread puddings and cheesecake. We ask, then walk over to the dessert trolley; no one else seems to do this. Ros has the crème brûlée and I have sponge cake with berries and ice cream.

Coffee is brought within seconds, with requested hot milk. Extra dessert of profiteroles, raspberries and chocolate sauce is brought by the pudding man. A plate of sweets comes at the end but we can't eat any, don’t have the will, morally or otherwise, to put a few of the wrapped ones in our pockets.

Leaving, the coat lady knows which are ours, puts us into them, and we walk out into the St John's night, the latest guests at a meal worth the treat at this unprepossessing gastronomic institution.

Amazing, amazing, amazing. Ticks every box in my view. Been to this restaurant many times and the next time can not come soon enough.