Koya

Just suffered dinner there with my wife. Terrible. Service terrible (they say Japanese staff… well.. not today…) Food even worse, decor? where? shared toilets, nasty smell in your clothes… It's just a wannabe restaurant, no more than a smelly take away with plenty of tables where you are forced to share a table elbow-to-elbow with a stranger in the same uncomfortable situation as you are. Expensive for nothing. I'm surprised they are still open, I guess they will die as soon as they run out of “friends” rating them positively. The worst place in London in 5 years.

The film Tampopo isn’t your usual love story. Yes, there is the hackneyed boy meets girl, saves her and her noodle shop from evil nasty villain, enlists the local tramp to help her make the perfect bowl of noodles, she lives happily every after whilst he rides off into the sunset (in a milk lorry with horns on the cab roof) storyline, but it is really a love story between the Japanese and food. Most especially, but certainly not exclusively, the noodle.

Love doesn’t really do it justice though; maybe obsession is a better word to describe it. In one of the early scenes, the young padawan is learning the correct way to eat a bowl of noodles from the Yoda like master. Should he start with the pork or the noodles? When should he drink the soup? He is told to caress the pork lightly with his chopsticks out of respect, but put it to one side whilst taking some noodles, all the while eyeing the pork. Only once some noodles and some soup have been noisily ingested should the pork be approached. Reverently.

I haven’t a clue whether this makes any sense at all, whether this ritual enhances the noodle eating experience or even whether anyone in Japan actually does this (although, having visited the wonderful country, I suspect that there are some who do). What I do know is that Koya always looks to be packed, with a queue snaking out the front, no matter what time of which day you go. It has thus taken months to actually get here and, having gone, I cannot quite see why the queue is so long.

The food is simple udon noodle fare: big, fat noodles in broth with a choice of toppings. Pork, unusually, doesn't come as sliced, but minced, in a spicy, almost sweet, sauce. The tofu, whilst looking like fried chicken, was, as it should be, totally tasteless, acting as a receptacle for the flavours of the broth. Both dishes fine, but lacking in profundity.

We started with an excellent seaweed salad and some mixed tempura, which was pretty good, if the batter a little on the heavy side; I do like the fact that one of the extra toppings that you can get for the noodles is tempura batter. A bit like the batter bits you used to get in chippies: an ingenious use of what would otherwise go to waste. The poached egg that you can get as a topping actually comes in the shell, and would seem like an excellent addition to some of the soups, although not necessarily the already rich pork dish our neighbour tried it with.

Staff are friendly enough, just a bit slow. And the place wasn't even full. And here's the thing; there is no booking, so you stand outside and wait for a table, most of which are shared. There were spare seats (well, unless those occupied by handbags count as being used), yet there was still a queue outside. Why? The only reason that I can see is that there it is a deliberate ploy by management always to make the place look over busy.

That is daft; practically next door you have Barafina, which also has a no-booking policy, yet if there is a seat free, it is filled. Forget what impression you're trying to leave, get people through.

What do I know though? I only ate here. I'm glad I did, but I'll be buggered if I'm going to stand around in the cold waiting for the table that I can see is (but for a sodding handbag) free to be deemed ready for me, just to make the restaurant look more enticing than it actually is. The place is cheapish, but not so cheap, not so great value for money that I could forgive this cynicism. There are places, maybe even more expensive places, that represent much better value for money than this.

This has got to be one of my favourite places in London.

Clean, fresh, perfect every time and above all simple.

No frills and pomp. Just great Japanese food.

I love (and have eaten) everything on the menu.

Prawn tempura udon (cold) pure genius. Pork belly side dish great.

Go you wont regret.

Koya – I’ve been meaning to give this place a try for a while now. Since opening in 2010, I’ve come across nothing but good stuff about this place from the likes of the Guardian and Timeout – so, I was pretty excited to be there!

I arrived promptly at 5.30pm and there was noticeably already a small queue forming outside the shop front, which really just added to the excitement.

Doors opened and we were all promptly seated by the waitress at hand. There was just a massive burst of people and the next thing I knew – it was already 80% full. The first thing you notice is the décor – it’s all wooden but in the bare, simple, Japanese café like sense, which gives off an informal, chatty type vibe.

From the menu, I ordered myself the Niku (beef) Udon in broth (£9.30) and a side portion of roast duck (£6.20) to go with it. I got the feeling their clientele are mostly diverse Londoners, who are well-informed and genuine foodies at heart.

And it didn’t take long for the beef to come. I couldn’t help but dive right in to the noodles, and they were exceptionally good. The texture and flavour was simply delicious. I’ve had Udon noodles before from all kinds of different joints in London (you can even buy them in packets from China town) but this place Koya, was by far the best. You can tell the noodles were of fresh produce.

The duck slices came shortly afterwards, presented in a tiny square dish in a watered down vinaigrette/pickled type dressing and with spring onion garnish. They were thinly sliced, slightly pink and were accompanied by a little English mustard dip.

And well? They were good! Succulent and well flavoured – just as duck should be.

Now back to the noodles, the beef, which were actually delicate shavings of beef, were again tender and succulent. What to say about the broth? The flavoured stock, mixed with fresh spring onion and onions was simply awesome. There is something about beef with onions, the broth just brings it all together.

So the verdict: I thoroughly enjoyed my meal at Koya. The staffs were polite, efficient and they even spoke Japanese, which made it uber cool because I know it’s not quite authentic Japanese but the essence is there.

My only quarrel was with the tight seating arrangements. Tables of two-by-twos were horizontally placed from the walls, which means if you were unfortunately (or fortunately) seated by a wall, you’d have to politely ask your neighbour to stand up (or shuffle forwards) to let you through if you needed to go use the washroom or something. I imagine there’s usually a lot of shuffling about as the place was already full by 6.00pm, and with people queuing outside!

Still, I can’t complain too much, the food was delicious, staff was good and the place seemed clean.

So I’ll definitely be back to try out more of their dishes!

Noodles are hardly ever made fresh anymore but Koya bucks the trend (thankfully). The freshly made udon noodles are amazing with the right bite and elasticity. The tempura is exceptional aswell. There are lots of different broths, some light and delicate (Duck) and others packed full of flavour (Pork Miso). I know lots of people prefer noodles served in a hot broth but I'd highly recommend going for a cold udon aswell, especially if it's a warm day. If you like noodles then a visit to Koya is a must. The only trouble is that it's so busy all the time.

A simple, canteen-like fairly compact japanese noodle restaurant. Great, fresh ingredients, delicate broth, great noodles. It feels like tasting genuine japanese noodle soups. Very lively and busy.