The Drawing Room at 3 Cromwell Road

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This stately townhouse (formerly Dorsia) has been trying to find its groove as a restaurant, bar and club for swishy-haired trust-funders in SW7’s playground. The new owners have filled the high-ceilinged Drawing Room with squishy sofas and low coffee tables (not so clever when you’re hunched over trying to reach your dinner), while the velvet curtains, oversized chandelier and baby grand are offset by brash modern paintings, a neon slogan and a wall featuring Barbie and Ken dolls getting very Fifty Shades of Grey. The menu is ill-conceived for what is essentially a lounge: smoked salmon blinis comprise a huge mound of fish, a jar of under-seasoned crème fraîche and bitter fried bread, while steaks are pricey but tasteless – although the dense chocolate brownie is a winner. Stick to bar snacks if hunger strikes here.

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