Marcus' Reviews

Oh dear. Really, oh dear. I was desperately hoping to be able to write a different review to the two immediately below this, but sadly I just can't find the words, or way, to make this sound anything other than woefully disappointing with the most god awful service I have experienced anywhere.

It used to be that Automat did great burgers, a decent steak, baked halibut and a mean steak tartare. They also used to have a brilliant team of staff who were attentive, hard working, dedicated and very friendly and courteous. How big a change is it then that now the staff are just simply the rudest people I've encountered in a restaurant. Totally uncaring, verbally rude and offensive in the way they simply talk over you, talk down at you and dismiss any query you might have with a shrug of the shoulders, a shake of the head, a scowl and a turn of the back, despite you being mid-sentence. Unbelievably rude.

Obviously with such a poor experience already last week, I was probably not in the mood for things to go wrong. So when the burger turns up the cremated side of crispy, rather than medium rare as I had requested, I was not amused. Even less amused when the manageress turned up and said “Well what do you want us to do about it?” in the rudest, most disgusting tone I've heard.

My answer? “Take it back, before I throw it on the floor because of your disgusting attitude. I'm leaving”

The funny thing is the manageress didn't even care. She just said to another waiter, whilst standing in front of me, “Get him his bill”.

All I could do was laugh, and all this in front of other bemused customers in a packed restaurant. Needless to say I didn't pay – the first time ever I've refused.

Says it all really.

Firstly – what an outrageously beautiful venue! There are very few buildings that have real wow factor but the Royal Exchange has it by the bucket load. Beautiful boutique shops surrounding a central open space that accommodates the Grand Cafe, endless height to the glass roof and glorious balconies from where you look down onto the proceedings below.

Such a shame then that the venue was SO cold! It was late February when I went and granted it was cold outside, but apparently the under floor heating just doesn't really work and the venue is simply too large to be heated successfully. The result was that I had lunch wearing a coat, scarf and wishing I had brought gloves and a woolly hat as well! No doubt in the summer it will be great, but wasn't impressed!

The other stand out thing was the sheer lack of service. Disappointingly, I was sat in the cafe for almost twenty minutes before I could catch the attention of a nonplussed waiter and then he showed no interest in the fact I had no menus nor ordered a drink. Still, the cold had set in and I was determined to get at least a cup of tea alongside my grapefruit juice (which was freshly squeezed and lovely incidentally).

Food menu duly delivered I decided on the open lobster and avocado sandwich as I was after a light lunch. And a light lunch is exactly what I got – although the taste and presentation was very good, the amount of lobster I got in the sandwich wouldn't even have moved a set of scales. Miniscule amounts of lobster, contrasted by an over-sized mound of slightly under-ripe avocado. For £18 or thereabouts, it was a serious disappointment in the value stakes. To make my ‘light’ lunch a little heavier, I then ordered a seafood platter for one – oysters, prawns, langoustines and dressed crab. Now this was more like it – fresh rock oysters, lovely prawns, langoustines that if I was being picky were a little overcooked, and lovely crab.

Service was still appalling though as I was left with empty plates on my (tiny)… More

I remember Crazy Bear from its early days – great food, epic bar and a cool, slightly kooky crowd partying away downstairs knocking back cocktails.

Roll forward a few years to last month, and the cocktails are still good, not quite great as they were before, but much better than the norm in London. The atmosphere was really terrific – buzzy, noisy without being noisy, with a more office-orientated crowd. Not as cool as it used to be, but still a nice place to get a drink.

If only the same could be said for the service. Apart from the front door which is friendly and professional, the service in the rest of the restaurant is average, with occasional variation to utterly dreadful. It took four attempts to get cutlery to eat with, for instance, and when it came it was almost thrown onto the table in a manner of disdain. Wasn't happy at all with the attitude of the staff.

Fortunately the food made up for the spiteful service. The slow roasted pork belly was as good as ever, tender, moist, meaty, with little fat and delightfully balanced in flavour. Seared beef was also good although it did lack that little spark that elevates a dish from being merely good to absolutely stonking. The red duck curry is still brilliant, full of flavour, sweetness and spice without the over-bearing stickiness and cloying feel that lesser curries can impart. The bitter chocolate soup was brilliant and still one of my favourite ever pudding choices.

In terms of value for money, considering just the food, I have to say that it is decent value. It is more expensive than your regular local Thai restaurant, but the food does a good job of justifying the prices. What isn't acceptable is the level of service, although credit is due to the front of house manager who agreed that she has a problem with the staff and that the service aspect is something she is actively looking into fixing.

On that basis then, a qualified recommendation – great food and a lovely environment if you don't mind putting up with… More

Have been using Square Meal for quite a while now but only realised that I'm constantly taking and not giving back to other users!

I've been going to Hache on Fulham Road for many months now and it is one of the most consistently good restaurants made even better by its value. I love a good burger, one that is full of flavour, not over seasoned, cooked just right (rare for me) and with a huge choice of toppings from goats cheese to a fried egg or mushrooms and peppers.

Not once have I been disappointed with the food. OK, it's not Daniel Boulud good when compared to his out of this world foie gras burger, but for one third the cost you can't argue with it. And the fact it is on a different planet compared to the insipid dry excuse of a beef burger at Sophie's Steakhouse just a few doors down just seals the deal for me.

The service can be a bit hit and miss – they have good days and then other days when you wonder if they've woken up at all. But always friendly which is nice.

Love it.