If ‘indifference’ was a quality whereby overseas travellers could rate a service industry, then Britain's eating establishments would by and large overwhelm the charts. For a four star hotel, the Harte and Garter is well below expectations. On a global standard I would rate it 2, if that. Location, it seems, is everything – sadly the management know this, and seem to be relying on that fact alone to secure custom.

I had thought that in my suit and tie (sans jacket) I might be slightly under-dressed for dinner. I was disappointed – a yob in trainers and a hoodie came and sat at the table beside us to drink a beer. The meal itself was a disaster from the inception: my first order was out of stock, as was my second. I settled on a third choice, and was informed twenty minutes later that the last one had just been sold. Eventually I went for probably the only thing left on the menu: a steak, mushroom and ale pie. I really should have gone for the steak at £25 a pop, because all I got as the ‘steak’ portion of my pie was the offcuts of the aforementioned steak: fat and gristle. Now really, I don't expect that a steak pie should contain only the finest cuts of meat. However, when I'm paying 14 pounds for it, I would have liked to see at least one identifiable piece of meat. When I mentioned this to the chap clearing the table afterwards he (to his credit) showed the leftovers to the restaurant manager, who seemed remarkably unmoved. I didn't expect a refund, but an apology would have been welcome. This restaurant is a sad reflection of British dining: the prices are extortionate and the food is terrible. It wasn't all bad though – the breakfast was nice, and there's a lovely fudge shop just down the road.