oh dear, maybe it was a slightly off night, so E & OE etc etc

We rushed in, 5mins late for our 7.30pm slot (previously on the 'phone “table back by 10 please”), but not to worry – “your table will be ready in two minutes.” eh?

Can I take your bags as there's no space at the table. Huh. really? ‘no’ space? Turns out she wasn't lying – table for five (with one at the end), but we had to squeeze in six. Three ‘thinnies’ down one side, me and the other broad-shouldered one opposite. There really was no space for the bags.
7.55pm and the menus hadn't come. “They'll have to remove me physically,” I muttered – long day at work. Should really get a proper job, away from The City.

When it came, the menu was a bit safe, a bit disappointing. I wasn't feeling tuned-in enough to work out whether it was particularly seasonal or not. Most reviews had described CM as roughly good/classic/reliable, maybe somewhat more inspired than that; but the big deal was supposed to be the woh-man-tic atmosphere.

I suppose it was. CM is pretty cosy – we were downstairs, in the booth on the left before the courtyard. If you look hard you could deconstruct it into clubby furnishings, generally low lighting, some twinklers, some plastic hedge, and a few mirrors for added sparkle. If you're a softy or in the mood, you'll like it. But for me, well… you guessed it!

The special was black…iberico…pork chop. I should have chosen that, it was pretty tasty if a little pink for most (including that diner), and for me a bit under-seasoned. I had sweetbreads, then pork belly.

So to the serious bit, the food.

Pretty well cooked sweetbreads, tender, again bit under-seasoned for me (and I'm not a salt addict). Slightly caramelised salsify which was a bit bland, diced mushrooms, forgettable pan jus, and four little imperceptible green leaves. The combined effect was too rich, in a sort of tacky-on-the-tongue, cream of tartar, cornstarch-y way, too homogenous, and crying out for balancing acidity. I took some of… More