This is not yet a review, more an observation in advance. Hence the average 5's through my ratings. My friend and I both live very locally to Chez Patrick have been meaning to visit for some time but have never got around to it. I was thinking about booking a table for next week and therefore read the reviews on Square Meal in advance. I cannot remember the last time I read such extreme divisions of opinion between reviewers each of whom have clearly been moved enough to write at considerable length in well considered detail.

So, what to do? Is Clementina one of those happy personalities that just seem to love and enjoy everything in life despite all else? A near 10 out of 10 does seem almost unbelievably impressive. Or was it indeed paid for by an “overbearing and arrogant” MD who could not bear to read the disappointing truth about his failures? Is the barrage of competing negative comments actually from a collection of old school types who having nothing better to do than complain and are seldom satisfied by anything short of ‘by Royal Appointment’. Kensington has its fair share.

Perhaps we should all aim to include a reference point, so that other readers can judge the nature and stance of the reviewer. For example, if our happy reviewer in this case had also commented, “now I feel like some good old American grub and am off to MacDonalds to enjoy a nutritious portion of fries” then perhaps we would all feel better informed. Or if one of the disappointed customers had actually bothered to reference an alternative that they felt had lived up to their expectations then the rest of us might have a better idea the mindset of the frustrations voiced.

I'm going to take the plunge and report back next week. Benchmarked. Against other restaurants, against how well I get on with my guest and my general mood on the day. It all makes a difference.