David's review of The Square

My wife and I used to be regulars at The Square in its former location in St James. However, when it moved, it lost a certain humanity, not to mention gaining a few pounds, and we never felt sufficiently at ease to include it among our regulars. The last time we went was probably a year ago – I only recognised one of the staff and none of them recognised us.

However, when we arrived, precisely on time (it was Sunday and the traffic was light), we were greeted in a friendly manner by the receptionist. This was the friendliest of any that we came into contact with, the rest being correct (mainly) but distant. One table containing two young(ish) casually dressed men attracted much more attentive and friendly service to the extent that I suspect those two men were members of staff.

My wife ordered her usual, which came without any fuss. I had a glass of German riesling (£9) and a bottle of sparkling water. The riesling was pleasant but a somewhat ungenerous glass. I followed that with a bottle of Cornas Reynard 1996 at £95 – pleasant, as it should be.

We were each presented with a wooden block bearing canapés, which were nice enough, but not memorable.

Not being a lover of fish, I had very little choice of starter – one vegetarian option, some fried fois gras or a parfait of fois gras and chicken livers. The vegetarian option looked boring, as it often does, and so, although I am attempting to cut down on fois gras, I had the parfait. This came in three parts: a Kilner jar bearing an inch or so of parfait; a medium size plate bearing a salad; and a couple of slices of toasted Poilane bread. The salad had some Jerusalem artichokes, pickled onions and several sweet dollops, which, once I had established what they were, I left. My wife was afraid the onions would wreck the wine, but they were so lightly pickled and so mild that they did not. The parfait was a sloppy deep beige mixture coated on top with salted peanut crisp, which added a contrast in texture but little else. However, the parfait was superb, almost as good as the similar stuff they serve at Chapter 1.

My wife had the scallops, which were ……….scallops. Nothing more to say.

We chose to share the leg of lamb. We were not asked how we wanted it cooked, and it came medium rare, which suited me well. The entire leg (a rather small one, but plenty for two) was brought to the table and shown to us, whereupon it was taken away and did not reappear for several minutes, when it came served up and plated.. It was accompanied by little pots of potato dauphinoise, which was good but not exceptional. The lamb was delicious.

My wife asked for a fruit salad as dessert, and this presented no problems. I chose a cocoa crème brûlée which was quite pleasant.

All in all, the food was good, as it should be.

The wine service was irritating. The decanter was placed on the far side of the table, out of reach of me or my wife. Several times, my glass was allowed to get empty or nearly so. Once, it was refilled by someone I took to be the restaurant manager in as brusque a fashion as I have ever seen. Once, when I was lifting some food to my mouth a hand appeared a few inches in front of may face as the sommelier poured the wine – he did a similar trick once when I had a glass of water to my lips – that is inexcusable.

The bill, including service at 12.5%, came to £300.66. I am disinclined to return.