Mitzie8cake's review of Criterion

God-awful. the only word I can find to describe this once acclaimed restaurant. Maybe its the new ownership, maybe it has always been this way inclined, I'm not sure. what I am sure of, is that I shall not be going back.

Service started off poorly at the door when we were rather forcefully asked for our coats, even though we didn't want to quite rid ourselves of all our belongings (it being a cold day). We were then told we couldn't keep coats on the chairs due to their ‘dress code’ when the restaurant was pretty much full of tourists anyway! I then asked for a ticket for our items which never came and upon leaving was adamantly told by the stroppy European woman that she distinctly remembers providing one. Upon which I had to remind her rather sternly (which I do not expect to have to do, being the customer that's supposed to always be right!) that she hadn't. That about summarised the beginning and end to a mediocre, dull and lifeless dining experience.

To add, food was uninspiring and lacked any finesse you would expect in such an establishment. Having ordered the pollock with chips, I found myself draining excess oil from the fish and chips and tasting nothing but grease. When I requested some vinegar, I was told there was only balsamic (on chips??!) and then later presented with some white wine vinegar half way through my meal. To top the vinegar debacle, one of my fellow diners who ordered the cumberland sausages with mash was told at 1.15pm that they had run out of these and had replaced it with a pork chop instead. Unacceptable.

Not a great fan of Gordon Ramsey but even if he'd had walked in, he could have spotted this was a kitchen nightmare upon first sight. Disgraceful service, poor standard of food and an ambience fit for a funeral. If there is any use for this place, it is to hide away the laggards of the hospitality industry – starting with the moody woman at the door.