Rules

Amongst her many inane witterings, Kate Moss once said that she lives by the motto that “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”. She has obviously never tasted grouse.

I am sure that the Daily Heil would argue that the Croydon Cretin’s utterance has led to an increase in teenage anorexia, rioting in her home town in protest and foreigners taking our jobs purely out of spite, rather than us Brits being too lazy to plaster a wall. Frankly I don’t care: Ms. Moss, who’s sole addition to the sum of human knowledge is to look good topless, will no doubt be a young, beautiful and (aided by the cocaine and fags she has ingested) very skinny corpse. I, on the other hand, intend to die old, fat and curmudgeonly, having partaken of as much fine food and quality wine as I can afford. Grouse is top of my list, grouse season is upon us and, despite other reservations about Rules, they sure know how to cook the succulent young birds.

The splendid thing about Rules is that it has withstood the ravages of food fashion through the centuries. Pretenders and pretentions have come and gone, but Rules remains true to its British roots: all steak and kidney pud and game.

The room itself is a splendidly ornate affair, oft seen in Parisian brasseries, but rarely seen in London. Lots of stained glass and lots of pictures of hunting parties, displayed en masse, like the smaller rooms at the Summer Exhibition, accompany antlers. Lots and lots of antlers.

Service is of the old fashioned sort; stiff rather than rude, formal rather than brusque, but certainly a lot friendlier than I remember, and others seem to have had. The wine list too is traditional: on the red side there is little of that New World stuff, just good old-fashioned Burgundy, Bordeaux and Rhone. The white is more interesting, with Austria, Greece and some out of the way French regions, mingling with the Chablis and Grand Cru Burgundy. I often find this with what I’d term Red Wine Restaurants. You know, ones where you want meat rather than fish. They will then go and put some interestingly tempting whites on the list, just to throw you.

Undeterred by this onslaught of white wines, it was grouse that I came for and grouse that I had. Now I know my grouse. And the Rules’ ones are pretty fine fellows, done the traditional way: roast with bread sauce (I can do without the redcurrant jelly. I have never seen the attraction of fruit with meat, other than perhaps Meat Fruit at Dinner by Heston) and, perhaps a nod to modernism, some parsnip shavings rather than game chips (posh crisps to you and me). For me, the bread sauce needs to be a bit thicker: it shouldn’t coat the back of a spoon, it should hold it upright. This is but a small trifle of a complaint, mind you, when the juicily beast, perfectly pink breasted, is the main show, brought to the table in its own copper platter, bits of thyme protruding from its derrière, a crisp bit of fried bread with the beast’s innards pated on top.

I shouldn’t forget, in my grouse musings, to mention both the starter and the desert, and indeed my companion’s pie. My Desert Island Discs’ luxury (along with a record player, which it always seems odd that nobody is offered; if I have six records, at least let me have something to play them on) would be a meal starting with potted prawn, moving through roast grouse and ending with stilton. They are all here at Rules.

The prawn is good, not the best, lacking a little in punch, missing a bit of nutmeg. The stilton, however, is magnificent: when it says stilton, that is what you get. A whole stilton and a spoon. And should you not fancy game, the pies are a joy. Juicy, packed with beef, kidneys and lots of gravy, with a crunchy/chewy crust. No mere jus here; no thick, highly flavoursome and most definitely gravy.

Rules isn’t, and I’d guess never will be, the most hip of places to go: if you want hip in Maiden Lane, go to Da Polpo opposite. If you want good, British food, in convivial surroundings, it is hard to beat and, with the addition of the bar upstairs, a great, club like place to sip a cocktail before.

I went to Rules for the name, Oldest Restaurant in London, as I love London, I really wanted to try a little visit

Only to be really dispointed it was dark I didnt feel very welcome, I was crushed in the corner with my 6'4 boyfriend! the food was average, and EXPENSIVE I am sorry to say I wouldnt rush back

Having dined at Rules 3 or 4 times over the last two years or so, and thoroughly enjoying delicious food, we were looking forward to another visit with out of town visitors. Rules always seemed the perfect spot for this due to it's longevity and reputation, despite paying GBP 380.00 for five our last time there.

Last week's experience was miserable (25 January 2011). Many of the ‘traditional’ and fun menu items have disappeared. Sausages and mash, fish and chips, etc. These were a happy accompaniment to the game dishes and rib steak for two – a personal favorite. This evening we four all ordered beef – a rump steak, a ribeye and the rib steak for two. No one enjoyed the meal. The meat was tough and poorly cooked. The veg was hours old and very nearly inedible.

Even the dessert selection has taken a hit with very ordinary, e.g. apple pie, offerings and many of the traditional steamed puddings now missing.

Our server was hesitant, ill-informed and frequently missing. Previous experiences at Rules have been made even better with experienced English wait staff who clearly enjoyed their job. When we queried the waitress, we were told that there “is a new chef and he didn't want those things on the menu.”

Now what shall I do? I have 3 different groups of visitors to London this spring and had counted on including Rules – as typically British with a flair – as a destination for all. Simpson's fell away some years ago.
Is there anywhere in London where a superior quality ‘old British’ kind of meal can be found? Suggestions appreciated.

For a restaurant to be consistently popular in London for two decades is some achievement, for over two centuries quite astounding. I find it difficult to describe Rules without becoming tangled in clichés but do simply say this. Should you be British, aspiring to become more British or interested in what British Food actually is, take three courses at Rules and a decent Claret and you will leave singing Rule Britannia.

The idea of Rules gets me frothing at the mouth. An institution of British tradition, well sourced British ingredients, particularly the meats, and well heeled serving staff that know a thing or two about service and traditional food. I've eaten here a couple of times recently for business lunches and I have been disappointed both times. The service is slow, inattentive and on occasion annoying. My spicy tomato juice was so heavily spiced it was brown in colour and acidic, perhaps I thought a bit of over enthusiastic seasoning until the waiter reassuringly informed me that it was in fact I who was wrong and that the recipe was over 200 years old. He later came back with a replacement admitting that my first had been an anomaly! The food was good but took a long time to come and it was almost impossible to get the attention of one of the many serving staff to enquire of its whereabouts. Tradition is all well and good, but the year is 2010 and I for one feel the need for a blend of modern standards when it comes to service. I suspect things will have to change if the management intend to get another 200 years of loyal local patronage – if this is indeed who Rules is even trying to appeal to.

Widely regarded as London’s oldest restaurant, Rules still thrives in the heart of Covent Garden, thankfully not succumbing to the tourist trap. The dining room is dark and cosy, with a gentlemen’s club feel to it, but the food is the real attraction, with its focus on seasonal ingredients, with game being a notable highlight.

The only place in town for a proper Sunday roast lunch. The beef was perfection and the horse raddish hit the right spot.
Yes it's expensive, however we arrived at 12.30 on Sunday and left at 5.30pm – 5 hours of good food, good wine and superb quality. A perfect Sunday

Went to the restaurant for the first time for a dinner with my boyfriend on Thursday and was very very disappointed. We got deer terrine and fried goat cheese as starters and venison ossobuco and grilled sirloin steak as main courses (recommended by the waiter). Food was awful, extremely low quality (meat was hard and bad tasting, sauces very bland and and again bad tasting) very poor presentation – definitely not what you expect from the oldest restaurant in London as food was similar to Tesco precooked one . Also, the room was particularly cold and we could not manage to get it warmer even asking to the waiter to do something about it. Service was less the average.
Overall a really bad experience – upsetting and disappointing to say the very least. Absolutely not worth the money they charge you. Awful. Never again.

Went for a pre theatre meal. Arrived at 6pm and our order, which was a main of Steak Diane and another of Lamb, no starters, was taken almost straight away. There was us, a few others and lots and lots of empty tables.

After 35 minutes nothing to eat, no bread (table next to us got some) and sat with a soft drink and a glass of Pinot Noir.

Finally asked the waiter about the food, who grandly infomed me that a (pan fried) steak diane, as my wife had ordered it medium/ well took 35 minutes to cook. Yes, if you have to go halfway across town to buy the meat, but otherwise complete tosh. How do they cope when it's half full?

The food when it arrived was OK, not exceptional, but well cooked and presented.

Now it was nearly 7pm and we had to move on, the waiter then seemed disappointed we only had time for coffee… whose fault was that?

Cost : 1x cola; 1 glass Pinot noir; 1 steak diane; 1 lamb; 1 mixed leaf salad; 1 tomato and shallot salad; 1 espressso; 1 cappucino = £79.00.

Overall a nicely presented place but as a dining experience, completely underwhelmed – never going back, there are many more that offer much better.

I can understand why it appeals to tourists, but if you are going to spend money, go to somewhere where a fine dinging experience won't cost you much more, but will leave you totally satisfied – try The Square, Sketch, or even top floor Smiths of Smithfield, not fine dining but great atomsphere and very good food. If you have to stick to the group Sheekey's or even the Ivy are better, but London's got so much to offer – dig a bit harder!

Yes it's a great room, and yes the traditional comfort food is very welcome on a cold, wet winter's day; the problem lies in the service. It is smug, complacent, inefficient and – to paraphrase an earlier reviewer – haughty.
Let's be quite clear: this is a £100-a-head restaurant. Compare the levels of service with other nearby and almost equally venerable institutions like Sheekeys or The Ivy. Rules doesn't come close.
A glance through the visitors' book provides some clues why this might be so, with page after page filled with (complimentray) comments from American tourists and anniversary celebrants. These are not potentially regular customers whose patronage needs to be encouraged; they are once-in-a-lifetime diners who are so distracted by the surroundings and the traditional “Britishness” of it all that they fail to notice the contemptuous manner in which they are treated.
Message to Richard Corrigan: Could you make Rules your next project and give it the kick up the backside it clearly needs.

We have just read about Rules in the Times having dined there last night and wondered if we went to the same restaurant! Yes the dishes are classic British standard but the service was sadly lacking. Having chosen red wine from the special selection, which was duly decanted we asked for bowl-shaped wine glasses only to be told ‘these are our standard glasses’ and ‘we used to have other glasses but not any more’. The starters were exceptional, as were the main dishes but the ‘creamed brussel tops’ turned out to be halved sprouts you could not get a fork into, the parsnips were equally hard and the mashed potato was gloopy school-dinner reject standard. We did not see a waiter throughout the meal, either to pour wine or check everything was ok (I know some people do not like this but at least we could have discreetly sent the veg back, rather than have the maitre d' sent to our table like a stern headmaster!) We declined to pay service charge as the ‘impeccable service’ was not in evidence on our visit.

I had lunch at Rules after a long absence and found it a delightful experience, particularly on a dreary winter afternoon. Its inviting, clubby atmosphere, and cosy well spaced tables make it a great place to while away a few hours in good company.

The menu is extensive and very game focused, but my vegetarian guest found enough fish to enjoy the place fully. The rest of us enjoyed duck, pheasant, grouse and other less-often seen meats.

Service was a little bit scatty and had to be occassionally prompted to pour more wine, but was otherwise courteous and swift.

On our first visit to Rules we were impressed with the interior design which was cosy and as old fashioned as one would expect. We decided to dine as we know the barman in there, young Michael who is a superb barman and Londons finest. Not only can he make you any drink you name, he also creates his owns drinks and many of the bottles behind bar you simply cannot get anymore. Real connoisseurs the guys upstairs and very friendly.

If only the same could be said about the staff downstairs. The front of door manager literally looked me up and down on my entrance. I thought I might have left my flies undone or perhaps had something on the bottom of my shoe but I think I passed the first test. I was not jettisoned into the street anyway.

The menu was nice and the food good but the entire evening was ruined by the extremely miserable waiter we had. Never smiled once.

I wish these places would ram home to their staff that surly and miserable staff does not make one want to return. Its basic stuff really and if they don't like working there then go elsewhere…as we did. Straight back into the bar upstairs where the friendly people are..and did I mention the drinks??!